Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it glows. i had to have it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize