I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
