As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
