If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You are a genius and a whore.
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