You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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