so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
