I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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