Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
