Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
