we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
