My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it glows. i had to have it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
