So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
