i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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