bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you're hired as official boob wrangler
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Ladies don't puke and tell
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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