Is it because I queefed?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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