Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I didn't notice because vodka
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
