you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
