sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Please don't give away my fajitas
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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