I accidentally burped into my bong.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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