Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize