I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We are two peas in an std pod
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
