Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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