I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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