We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
