Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize