Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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