I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
