I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
