can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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