just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
