if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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