I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
