Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
