When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
