i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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