he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
