it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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