we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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