Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
