check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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