I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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