I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
