is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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