oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
