My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
