God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize