Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
