His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
