that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
