Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
