You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Never joke about your clitoris.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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