covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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