we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
