Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
