So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
