ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
