Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
