Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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