Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
