You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
