New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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