I heard we made out
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
