she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
ok first of all what the fuck
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
