We're like a lot better than the average bears
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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