yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize